393: Maximizing Your Networking Potential- with Eleni Kelakos

[00:00:23] Lori Highby: Hey, everybody, Lori Highby here. Welcome to the Social Capital Podcast. Our show notes are found at socialcapitalpodcast. com. To you, the listener, I want you to know that I appreciate you, and I'm thrilled to have you here for another episode. If there's ever anything that I can do to support you, please reach out.

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Social Capital podcast is sponsored by Keystone Click, a strategic digital marketing agency that believes in order to successfully market to your ideal customer, you have to first understand your customer. Learn more at KeystoneClick. com.

The topic of relationships ties in very closely with marketing. That's why I continue to bring on marketing experts with a variety of backgrounds for you to learn and grow from. Today's guest is Eleni Kelakos. Did I say that right? That was good! Okay. Eleni is the Speaker Whisperer. She is a presence and presentation expert and the president of the Eleni Group, established in 2003.

She uses performance techniques learned over 20 years as a professional actress and award winning nationally touring singer songwriter to help speakers and business leaders across the globe present with more authentic authenticity, confidence, and impact. Eleni, welcome to the show.

[00:02:22] Eleni Kelakos: Thank you so much. I'm very excited to be here.

[00:02:25] Lori Highby: I am excited to have you here as well. I'm sure our listeners are going to get tons of value with our conversation today. So when we talk about marketing tools, that's, and, and this is something I know people are constantly asking me about, what are the ones that you have found have best served you?

[00:02:43] Eleni Kelakos: Well, you know, and, and now I am speaking as a speaker, as a singer, songwriter, right. As an actress, all of those things that have created my path. This holds true for all of those things. The expression I'm going to use is certainly work begets work. And what I mean by that is I believe in what I call the showcase strategy.

And that means letting people see what I can do. I learned this really early on as a young actress, you know, and I learned it again as a singer songwriter, and I've certainly learned it as a speaker and coach. When you put yourself out there doing what you do well, other people will want some of that. And as a singer songwriter, I would do songwriting or singing showcases, right?

And people would come hear me and they knew what they were buying. Then these were people who could hire me to sing in their various clubs and so forth. So my belief is you got to put yourself out there in order for people to kind of glom onto you a little bit and have the faith to hire you. So I take the same approach in my work.

I love to do anything that puts me in front of the public. And typically for me, that means speaking, right? So I like to speak. I like to get in front of groups and speak. And I tend to get more speaking jobs when I speak, you know, so I will deliberately choose different times of the year or different times of each month to do something that I would give away for free.

A speaking engagement that I do out of love of doing it and putting myself in front of my target audience. Typically that brings other speaking engagements to me or coaching clients.

[00:04:29] Lori Highby: Yeah, I love that. And it kind of reminds me, and I speak to this quite a bit too, is the movie Field of Dreams.

And that doesn't work in the business world where if you build it, they will come. You need to be present. You need to show up. That totally resonates with me. I find that whenever I speak, new opportunities definitely present themselves. More fascinating to me is that I get more speaking opportunities.

So it just kind of is like this ongoing chain of speaking engagements, which I find is a great way to, you know, I'm not selling, I'm just showcasing expertise and value and critical awareness.

[00:05:04] Eleni Kelakos: Exactly. And people get to rub up against you in a good way. You know, they're like, Oh, I liked listening to Lori.

There's something about that woman. I'd like to lean in further and find out more. And that's all that you can hope for, in my opinion, in an excellent marketing attempt. That's what you're looking for.

[00:05:21] Lori Highby: Definitely. Have you leveraged networking opportunities to build your business?

[00:05:26] Eleni Kelakos: Well, I'm going to say this because I think I'm just a bit of a born networker. I'm a foreign service kid. My dad was in the state department and he was a professional networker in many ways. He understood the value of, forming maintaining and growing relationships.

I remember as a young kid, the efforts my parents made to have events or parties, where they would be maximizing the relationships that were important from a professional standpoint. I was raised with that notion. But then as a young actress, In New York, I learned really early it was all about that. I didn't really know anybody when I moved to New York. I had a dream and maybe a handful of phone numbers at the time to call. And I went and I found those people and those people led me to other people and they led me to other people. And I learned again early on, it's who you know.

And you can't find those people necessarily if you're doing nothing about finding them. At the time it literally was about getting out, going to networking events, joining the Chamber of Commerce, which I did when I first started my business 20 years ago.

Smartest move I ever made, frankly. I put myself squarely out there and I'm social and sociable and I was doing something a little different. People took note. And in fact, that chamber event that I spoke at the very first time that was just so happened out of just me going to a chamber event.

Somebody said, Hey, you want to talk? I said, yes. And then they invited me to do a 20 minute talk, which in many respects kicked off my coaching career. I really believe that it's not so much about, I don't like networking just to network. I like to meet people and get to know people.

And I'm not the kind of person who's going to be handing out a business card unless I really feel some connection and that I might be of use and value to that person and maybe potentially in reverse. But honestly, it's got to feel like a fit. And then at that point, my general feeling is you nurturing these things really matters. I remember coming home from events and handfuls of business cards back in the day going, what am I supposed to do with these things?

It really is to me about just keeping yourself out there in many respects.

[00:07:48] Lori Highby: Yeah.

[00:07:48] Eleni Kelakos: Oh, with social, it's even more critical to just keep putting the message out there, putting the message out there and acting on the invitations, the comments that, you know, just really staying participatory and present.

[00:08:03] Lori Highby: Yeah, I agree with all that. And I love that you joined the chambers. I'm a big fan and advocate of that. I mean, that's the purpose of the chambers to be advocates of businesses, right, and help you grow and flourish. And it's a great way to meet like minded individuals that either You know, they want to help you succeed, you want to help them succeed, they can refer you business, they can engage you for your services or, purchase your products from you. It's all about being committed to showing up, being present and really being an active participant in those organizations.

[00:08:35] Eleni Kelakos: Agreed. And that you use the word showing up, you know, and being present.

In my world, that's everything. And I mean, genuinely showing up, not phoning it in. But, being in a relaxed body, breathing in the moment, looking somebody in the eyes, if possible, if it's live in person and genuinely caring enough to connect with them. Genuinely wanting to be in that moment with them.

[00:09:00] Lori Highby: Totally agree. Yeah. So how does the work that you do as a coach, trainer, speaker, align with the concepts of networking here that trust reciprocity and value that are the core of Social Capital here?

[00:09:15] Eleni Kelakos: You cannot establish trust unless you're willing to be genuinely who you are in the moment and connect with other people from that space.

I really strongly believe that people will lean into you when you do that, and they will lean away from you when they can smell the dishonesty, the inauthenticity. So I know the nature of my work, certainly, my work as a coach and trainer and speaker and all has a great deal to do with dealing with the fears that we sometimes have showing people who we really are. Putting our voice genuinely out there for fear of being shot down in some way and made fun of or not being good enough. But I really sincerely believe that, you know, that kind of transparency, that kind of genuine authenticity, that willingness to really be present in the moment, listening, breathing.

That's what elicits that sense of trust. And that kind of trust is what builds relationships. I think about my accountant who I've been with for many, many years. He's all those things. And I trust him with my money, which if you knew me better, you would know, I'm really, I hold my money tight. So for me to trust him and, you know, with the ups and downs of the market, right?

I do that because he showed up as a real genuine human being with me and allowed me to do the same, and that allowed us to get to know each other, which allowed us to develop trust, and it's a relationship going on 20 years now.

[00:10:57] Lori Highby: That's awesome. I love that. And I, and there's one of the things that I talk about after interviewing over 350 individuals heavily on the topic of networking, but definitely around the topic of marketing too. I've kind of created my three golden rules of building relationships.

And the first one is to be your true authentic self, because people can smell fake and people can smell it a mile away. And that's why, and it's kind of resonating with me. You know, before I hit the record button, my kind of static image on my Zoom when I don't have my video on has me kind of trying to be as authentic yet professional at the same time by showing like, Oh, I've got some tattoos.

And you commented on that, but like, I don't want to be, I'm not a stiff, wear a suit type of person. You know, I've got, I want to really showcase my personality while also adding as much value as I possibly can.

[00:11:50] Eleni Kelakos: Well, you know, Lori, that picture it helped us even begin to have a conversation, right? And because it is so you. It's so very you on every level. It's intriguing and it's genuine.

[00:12:04] Lori Highby: Oh, thank you. So yeah, I definitely resonate with me. All right, let's go to a fun question. Now, if you could go back to your 20 year old self, what would you tell yourself to do more of less of or differently with regards to your professional career?

[00:12:17] Eleni Kelakos: Well, I would say, first of all, lighten up baby, you know I know I'm as a, recovering perfectionist, all I wanted to do was do every single thing perfectly and right. And I've learned over the years that sometimes good enough is good enough. You know, but that said, I think that I would have asked myself to start, I wish that I had started tracking my numbers earlier in my career. I use a numbers tracking tool to help me know as a business owner now, you know, money in money out and it keeps me going after my goals in a very organized manner. And I was afraid to really look at that stuff back in the day.

It's taken me years to realize that awareness of my financials gives me peace of mind and actually helps me build my wealth rather than fret about it.

[00:13:13] Lori Highby: Yeah, that's a great piece of advice. And I feel that our and that resonates with me a ton. That you know, I don't think I had the best kind of financial education. You know, both within the school systems and in my upbringing and that carried over into, you know, some mistakes I made with the business as well. And I wish that there was more input. I kind of self taught over the last 10 years by reading books and listening to podcasts on financial health. And I definitely wish I would have paid more attention to that earlier on.

[00:13:45] Eleni Kelakos: Yeah. I mean, you know, I'll tell you from a business standpoint, being crystal clear about what I need, what numbers I need to hit every month helps me know what I need to do about making those numbers and, certainly, as a woman, I'll say this too.

It's been very empowering for me to realize that I can have ownership of all this.

[00:14:06] Lori Highby: Yeah. Love that. All right, I'm going to give you the opportunity to ask me a question. What is something that you'd like to ask?

[00:14:13] Eleni Kelakos: Lori, I'm very curious. I mean, you've interviewed an awful lot of people. I want to know what do you think makes a great for a great interviewee?

[00:14:24] Lori Highby: Ooh. That's a good question and not when I've been asked. So thank you for that. A great interviewee is someone that has stories to share and value to add. If there's a story that helps illustrate the point that's being made. I found that tends to resonate with people a lot is easier, and it keeps people engaged in the episode that's taking place.

[00:14:47] Eleni Kelakos: Oh, I just love that response. I think stories are, are everything. You know, stories make things sticky and, and you know, we don't tell enough of them, actually,

[00:14:57] Lori Highby: I agree.

[00:14:59] Eleni Kelakos: We don't tell enough of them. And from a networking standpoint, I don't think there's anything better when you're giving your little elevator pitch, or I like to call it your elevator overture, that you, you know, use a little example story to help them know what it is that you do. You know, stories can show up in all manner of ways, and they can be so incredibly effective.

[00:15:19] Lori Highby: Well, it makes it easier for people to connect and resonate. I find that one of the things that we do at Keystone Click is website design and development, right? And oftentimes that is a very gray, unknown area for the majority of the people that we work with. And the first question asked is, well, what does a website cost?

And so I can go down the technical route or I can tell a story and find an analogy. And I always like to use the analogy of building a house. Like there's a lot of variables involved in building a house. And just like, you know, pick the type of flooring, the countertops, the windows, how many rooms. You know, like so many variables have an impact on the investment associated with the house.

And then when I explain that, it makes it a lot easier for them to understand that there's a lot of variables involved in building a website.

[00:16:10] Eleni Kelakos: That's fascinating. I could ask you questions all day.

[00:16:18] Lori Highby: I'll let you ask another one. Sometimes a couple people get away with two or three questions.

[00:16:24] Eleni Kelakos: Yeah, I want to know, why did you decide actually to do this, uniquely this? To do, to interview people like this? What was the impetus behind this for you?

[00:16:35] Lori Highby: Well as a business owner, I am an entrepreneur in the marketing space.

I very much believe in thought leadership and I within our agency, we practice what we preach. That's something that's very important to me and knowing that thought leadership is a great way to build your brand in a B2B space, I, like, I have to do that. As the owner, that is my job, that's my responsibility.

I started blogging, and I love writing, but I wasn't really good about being consistent with the writing. Video was fun, but then I was getting too worried about how I look. So that was my whole problem.

I'm over that, but you know, when I started I was interviewed on a friend's podcast. Another colleague of mine who also owns an agency. And he kept pushing me and just like, just do it, just do it. And I did it. And I'm like, Oh my God, that was so easy and so fun. And I don't have to worry about how I look and I could just be myself.

And so I decided podcasting was a channel that I was going to really lean into for my, my thought leadership. And, you know, I just noticed the other day that I've been doing this show for seven years now, which is crazy to me.

[00:17:41] Eleni Kelakos: Wow. That's a really long time. Sure. Yeah. That, that's consistency and persistency.

[00:17:52] Lori Highby: Absolutely. Any final words or wisdom or knowledge that you want to share with our listeners?

[00:17:59] Eleni Kelakos: Just to say that every single person listening to this has a purpose and a voice, and you're meant to maximize both of them to put yourself squarely out into the world with no apologies. That's what I believe with all of my heart.

You're meant to claim the stage with everything that you've got and to use your beautiful gifts in service to others and make your difference on this planet. I believe that with all my heart.

[00:18:28] Lori Highby: I love that. That's great. That's fantastic advice to share. Yeah. So Eleni, if anyone was interested in getting any contact with you, what is the best way they can reach you?

[00:18:38] Eleni Kelakos: Well, go visit my, my lovely website. It's www the Eleni group. com T H E E L E N I G R O U P. com. And while you're there, go ahead and sign up for this. I have a great little, little mini ebook with five ways to help you manage getting up in front of others and speaking without fear and more confidence. So I, I really, I can't, I can't recommend that enough. It's a great little, little ebook.

[00:19:15] Lori Highby: Love that. Yeah. We will include all that information in our show notes as well. Thank you so much for being on the show today. This is a great conversation.

[00:19:25] Eleni Kelakos: Thank you for having me. This was wonderful.

[00:19:28] Lori Highby: Absolutely. All right. This wraps up our episode of social capital. Huge thank you to Eleni for taking the time to connect with us. If you have a burning marketing or a relationship or networking question, just reach out. I'd love to answer it on this show. And as mentioned before, let's connect on LinkedIn. I'm looking forward to hearing from you and I hope you enjoyed today's show.

I want you to go out there and get noticed.